Copyright © 2001, Joke A Day, Inc. -- ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
News stories from around the world. (Very graphic intensive -- slow modems beware!) -- Last Updated January 7, 2002
Letters from real people who appreciated my style of humor. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
Letters from real people who have no business near a computer. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
About.COM's schizoid feelings about my little joke. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
The bastards at Symantec who should know better than to piss off a comedian. -- Last Updated July 20, 2001
Follow-up articles. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
AOL FAQ
June 30, 2001
Reader MusicMan sent me Symantec (the Anti-Virus people!):
July 10, 2001
Reader Larry Knox sent me an update to Symantec (the Anti-Virus people!)
It repeats the warning itself (violating my copyright!!! -- I'll address that in a moment) and above it, it says:
This hoax email warns of a virus named AOL.exe that will activate on June 8. The email provides instructions on how to remove the AOL.exe file from the computer.
AOL.exe is the executable file for America Online and should not be deleted.
Larry writes: "Great... so even the vendor I trust to keep
my system clean advocates keeping my IQ down. sigh."
I sent the following to Symantec's Feedback section:
Here is a statement from your own website under "Legal Notices" about your copyrights:
"The information on this web site is protected by copyright. Except as specifically permitted, no portion of this web site may be distributed or reproduced by any means, or in any form, without Symantec's prior written permission."
Yet, on this page on your site
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/aol.exe.hoax.html
Symantec has reproduced Joke A Day Inc.'s copyrighted work. Symantec has done so without obtaining my written permission and Symantec is currently in violation is US and international copyright laws.
Contact me immediately by email at jokeaday@jokeaday.com or by phone at 614 470 5540 to relate how Symantec will address this violation of copyright laws.
Ray Owens
President
Joke A Day, Inc.
July 16, 2001
On July 11 I got a letter from Rob Rosenberger of Vmyths.com (Virus Myths). For those of you who've read this
far, you'll recall that Rob is the gent who was the genesis of the media circus that followed the release of the Deadly AOL.EXE Virus. CNET picked up
the story from Rob's site and it went from there. Rob had written me and asked if he could do a article on Symantec's infringement of my copyright.
By July 12 I still had not heard from Symantec so I called their technical support number. I talked to a very nice gentleman named John and
explained to him that Symantec was in violation of US and International copyright laws. John told me that this was beyond his ability to address (not
unexpected, of course) but that he would take all of the information down and would turn it over to someone else who'd call me back in "a couple to
three days." I told him that would be fine, as all I wanted was a million dollars in small unmarked bills. John laughed. He said his girlfriend
was a subscriber to Joke A Day and I told him that if he wasn't a subscriber she was too good for him. I also told John that, in all seriousness,
all I was seeking was recognition, attribution, and A LINK back to Joke A Day.
The afternoon of July 12 I got a phone call from Sandy Erickson, obviously a PR flack of Symantec. She was very cordial on the phone. I explained
my position, that Symantec had quoted my entire article, and that all I was seeking was a link back to Joke A Day's site.
That's when she morphed in The Ice Princess. "Mr. Owens, our lawyers say we can use your article under the copyright 'Fair Use' laws. We will not be
providing attribution, listing your name, nor will we be putting a link back to Joke A Day."
I told her I was pretty savvy on those "Fair Use" laws myself, and while not a lawyer, I could read. By no stretch of the imagination could their
publication of my copyrighted work be considered "Fair Use." She told me that was their position. I could choose to write them a letter and
give them my "side of the story" ("isn't that what I just did via phone?", I asked). They would then consider, perhaps, an attribution to the origination
page. I said, "The joke originated in email. How are you going to link to that?"
I called Rob Rosenberger after I got off the phone with Ms. Erickson, asked him if it was a good time to bend his ear, and he said it was. He told
me he'd been working on an article for almost a year about how anti-virus companies plagarize and trample all over copyrights while defending their
own zealously. He'd been keeping tabs on Joke A Day's AOL.EXE Virus page (how cool!) and when he saw that Symnatec was now doing the same crap, but
to a JOKE (not even a program in this case!) he said he'd found his hook for the article. You can read the entire article (and I strongly suggest
you do so because it's a cool article!) at:
http://vmyths.com/rant.cfm?id=347&page=4
Rosenberger wrote:
YOU COULD CUT the irony with a knife at this point, folks. Symantec once sued Network Associates over
thirty lines of copyrighted software code. (They also sued over a separate block of 101 lines of code.) The lawsuit
ended only when Network Associates bought a company with its own copyright dispute against Symantec.
Total cost to Network Associates: over $100 million.
For something legally equivalent to Owens' material."
Contrast Symantec with SecurityPortal.com.
Their writeup of the hoax includes the entire joke, along with a link to "Joke A Day." Antivirus nerd
Ken Dunham spoke to me by phone about it. He included the joke in order to accurately document the
hoax's roots. He linked to "Joke A Day" to further document Owens' true role in the affair.
Ray here: On Security Portal is this paragraph:
Note: This email hoax has an interesting story, with the author of the hoax distributing it via his
Joke a Day mailing list and web site in the wake of the Sulfnbk.exe hoax/virus hysteria. Once the
mass mailing occured some individuals believed the hoax, acted upon it, and sent it to others.
More from Rosenberger:
Symantec makes a living from copyrighted material just like Owens, yet their lawyers refused to obey
Owens' copyright. They refused to even credit the man for his work. Mind you, Symantec's plagiarism
lawsuit forced Network Associates to spend more than 100 times the amount Owens demanded from
Symantec in jest.
I asked Owens if he felt angry. "No," he sighed. "I'm frustrated, I guess." Word to the wise: never
frustrate a comedian! They can take it out on you in ways you won't like.
I called Erickson on 13 July to check her side of the story. She didn't take my call. (Hmmm.) I got
bounced around from person to person until I grew bored. Then I contacted bigwig Vincent Weafer.
Symantec's position changed the moment he got involved.
He quickly uncovered the obvious problem. Symantec's lawyers thought Owens orchestrated the hoax --
and they didn't want to set a precedent for a hoaxster. (We'll talk about precedents in a minute.)
My conclusion: someone who doesn't understand the nuances of virus hoaxes decided to knowingly violate
an innocent man's copyright. "Ouch."
I had not read Rosenberger's article at this point. In fact, reader Jennifer wrote this email to me:
You scared the SHIT out of them!
(copied from http//www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/aol.exe.hoax.html)
This hoax email warns of a virus named AOL.exe that
will activate on June 8. The email provides
instructions on how to remove the AOL.exe file from
the computer. AOL.exe is the executable file for
America Online and should not be deleted.
We have been informed that this message originated as
a joke by Ray Owens of Joke A Day Inc. It has become a
hoax message that is being distributed via email.
Ha! Jokeaday will rulle all...hehehe
Symantec added that second paragraph! Whoa!
After I'd spoken to Rosenberger, I called an attorney here in Columbus who specializes in copyright law. I made
an appointment to speak with him next week.
Upon receipt of this letter from Jennifer, I went out to Symantec's site to see that, yes, indeed, that extra paragraph
had been added. But, goddammit, I wanted a LINK back to Joke A Day. People won't take the time to look up
Joke A Day -- I want a LINK!
I wrote this letter to Sandy Erickson:
Dear Sandy
I was pleasantly surprised to see the security update (SARC)
portion of Symantec's website
http//www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/aol.exe.hoax.html
was updated to include the following paragraph
"We have been informed that this message originated as a
joke by Ray Owens of Joke A Day Inc. It has become a hoax
message that is being distributed via email."
I'm pleased to see by this step Symantec recognizes the
copyright I own on the AOL.EXE Virus material and that "Fair
Use" laws did not cover Symantec's usage of the material. I
applaud your steps toward an amicable solution. To completely
resolve this issue of copyright violation by Symantec, here is
what Symantec will do.
The paragraph you've added will be re-written as follows
"Symantec has been informed by the author of the AOL.EXE
Virus message, Ray Owens of Joke A Day, Inc.,
(www.jokeaday.com) that the following message was written
and presented as a joke to his Joke A Day mailing list. The
entire text of the message is presented with permission from
Mr. Owens."
The text "www.jokeaday.com" will be permanently hyperlinked
back to this URL
http//www.jokeaday.com/7aolexe.shtml
Upon completion of this rewrite to my specifications, please
inform me by email to jokeaday@jokeaday.com so I can then
cancel litigation procedures with my attorney, Mr. Leon D. Bass,
Esq., a specialist in United States Copyright Law, of 7870
Olentangy River Road, Worthington, Ohio. His phone number,
should you wish to consult him is (614) XXX-XXXX. MY phone
number is (614) XXX-XXXX should you need to reach *me*.
Should that paragraph be rewritten to my specifications and
NO OTHER CHANGES be made to the page as it exists now,
I will cease and desist any legal action against Symantec. I
reserve the right to initiate additional action or renew action
should Symantec not agree to these terms or if Symantec
materially changes the existing page in question in any other
way.
Regards,
Ray Owens
President
Joke A Day, Inc.
Rosenberger continues:
Yes: Owens identified his lawyer in the email. Would you expect anything less from a paid comedian
with an incorporated website?
"C'mon, Rob," you moan. "How can you call Owens 'an innocent man'? His joke launched a hoax!" Say
what you will about Owens' sense of humor, but remember this: he wrote a joke. J-O-K-E. He makes a
living from humor just like Dennis Miller and Richard Pryor and George Carlin and Jay Leno. All
comedians explore controversial material; virus hoaxes are controversial. 'Nuff said.
Owens placed a copyright on his work just like every other professional comedian out there. He can
demand compensation if you republish his material. Many comedians demand money, but Owens merely
wants websites to credit him and provide a link to "Joke A Day." He could tell you to plant a
tree in his name if the mood struck him. If you don't like Owens' demands, then you better not
reprint his entire joke. He owns the copyright, not you.
Symantec's lawyers erred because Owens committed no fraud. He didn't orchestrate a publicity stunt,
either. He sent a joke to 342,000 subscribers on his "Joke A Day" mailing list. Nothing more,
nothing less. Owens followed well-established norms for humorists.
Symantec's hoax non-experts will learn a valuable lesson the hard way -- "never frustrate a
comedian." (Ha! You thought I'd say "get your facts straight," didn't you?) You know Owens will
take out his frustrations on the company no matter what they do. Say what you will about his sense
of humor ... but I can't wait to see Owens' parody of Symantec's website.
Another coincidence into the way Great Minds Think Alike:
July 18, 2001
John Leyden, a reporter for
The Register ("Biting The Hand That Feeds IT") sent me this letter:
Read with interest about your copyright dispute with Symantec over the AOL hoax, which is a good story for El Reg. I was wondering if you had problems with other AV vendors on this too?
I responded:
To tell you the truth, I honestly don't know if I'm having the
same problem with other AV sites / vendors. McAfee doesn't
have it listed at all. Security Portal gave me a link and full
attribution. I didn't see anything on F-Prot's site, either.
So it appears, so far, it's just Symantec who's gone off the
deep end.
and John wrote the following article (which several hundred people immediately told me about!)
Then, my good friend Rob Rosenberger himself wrote:
I suppose you heard already, but just in case you didn't ... Silicon covered my column. (I didn't alert them.)
July 19, 2001
Switzerland Reader Peter Waeckerle wrote and told me about Heise News
in Germany. Peter wrote: The "Heise Verlag" is one of the most valuable german source of IT information, publishes among other the bi-weekly "c't magazin fuer
computertechnik". I hope that's a good thing!
I asked Peter if he would be kind enough to translate it for me. He wrote:
here's the text (as good as I can ;-)
"The author of the so called AOL-Hoax claims one
million us-$ in "small, not marked notes" as
compensation from Symantec, because the company
violated his rights on the joke.
The internet site Joke a Day distibuted a virus
altert in june and requested to immediately delete
the file "aol.exe" as a dangerous virus. Many of
the readers forwarded the "warning" and the
newborn hoax spread around with a similar pace
like the file "sulfnbk.exe" which was just a few
days older.
This didn't only cause delightment because some
naive users indeed deleted this file.
Anti-virus company Symantec added this message to
their hoax-list and caused for "troubles" for
themselves. Joke a Day owner Ray Owens claimed
this mentioned million because the violation of
his rights or - a backlink to his homepage.
Symantec showed little cooperative, although Owens
authorship is now indeed shown on the hoax-page,
a backlink is missing however. And appearently
he's still waiting for his million (lab/c't)."
Phew, that was hard work, Ray!!! I hope I did a
little better job than babelfish...
Not long after that, German reader Michael Krebs wrote this:
Hi Ray,
today, you hit the German computer press once more:
It isn't worth translating it (it simply tells that the author of the
so-called AOL-Hoax requests US$ 1 million in "small, non-marked bills" from
Symantec due to copyright issues. It continues with a wrap up of the AOL
hoax, and then relates that you either demanded a backlink to your page or
the million.)
However, after reading this, I headed to the university, did some business,
then went to the mensa (the Latin word used for "dining hall" in Germany).
There are tables of six, and I was alone, so naturally some strangers joined
me. Seems they were research assistants of some scientific faculty. After
listening to their talk about SGI, Indy etc. for a while, I got reason to
start smiling: one of them to his colleagues: "Did you hear about that
AOL.EXE hoax?". Well, then he told his colleagues about the original hoax
(not about today's coverage). After a few minutes their talk switched to
other 'hoaxes' (e.g. press ALT+F4 for instant hardcore sex). I didn't bring
myself in into this conversation, but just sat there and thought: look how
small this world is...
There's Something ABOUT Mary
July 20, 2001
Good Lord. Does this mean I have to kiss and make up, now?
This page talks about how the an article by
Mary Landesman, an anti-virus guide with About.com was the only "nasty" article
written about the AOL.EXE Virus.
Mary took a lot of heat over her views and the poll that she commissioned asking her readers
if I was a "Jerk" or a funny guy backfired on her when the overwhelming majority of people
voted that the whole thing was a hoot.
Now, thank to CyndyKay (and a slew of other people -- but CyndyKay was first) Mary has picked
up on Rosenberger's article and has written an article of her own.
News stories from around the world. (Very graphic intensive -- slow modems beware!) -- Last Updated January 7, 2002
Letters from real people who appreciated my style of humor. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
Letters from real people who have no business near a computer. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
About.COM's schizoid feelings about my little joke. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
The bastards at Symantec who should know better than to piss off a comedian. -- Last Updated July 20, 2001
Follow-up articles. -- Last Updated July 16, 2001
AOL FAQ
